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 Jokes

A place to share jokes, funny stories, and to just laugh in general :-)



Please remember this board can be (and is) accessed by children.
All jokes should be family friendly.
No profanity
No jokes of a sexual nature

KEEP IT PG rated

Thanks!



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4. April 2024, 15:49:45
Smiler. 
Subject: Re: My Snow Shoes...
ketchuplover:

3. April 2024, 19:19:21
ketchuplover 
Subject: My Snow Shoes...
melted

18. February 2024, 15:56:13
Smiler. 
Subject: Re: funny joke
Modified by Smiler. (19. February 2024, 14:50:26)
BadBoy7: That was very funny.

18. February 2024, 07:05:17
BadBoy7 
Subject: funny joke
A wife gives her husband a cheating test.
A man's wife wanted to know how her husband would react if she was to just up and leave one day so she came up with a way to trick her husband into thinking she had left. She wrote a note saying how she was tired of living with him and doesn't want to put up with him anymore. She left the note on the kitchen counter and hid under the bed and waited for her husband to come home.

Her husband soon came home, saw the note and wrote something on it. Immediately he started dancing and singing while changing into another pair of clothes. He than proceeds to dial someone and says: Hey babe the idiot finally had enough of me, I was so stupid to marry her wish I found you first, I'll be over in 10 minutes! He than rushes out the door and drives off in his car.

The wife comes out from under the bed, tears in her eyes goes to read what her husband had wrote on the note, it said; " I can see your feet sticking out from under the bed idiot, I have gone to buy some beer."

1. April 2023, 19:02:07
ketchuplover 
Subject: looketh
over there!

9. January 2023, 12:35:49
Mousetrap 
Subject: Re:
pgt:

6. January 2023, 09:12:36
pgt 
No jokes for about six months! What a sad world!

Ok!!

Someone stole my credit card, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did!

18. July 2022, 20:31:43
ketchuplover 
2 out of 3 words using the letters s a m p aren't bad

11. April 2022, 23:40:17
ketchuplover 
Subject: "My Wife's side of the...
water bed is frozen" - Rodney Dangerfield

7. November 2021, 00:51:45
ketchuplover 
Subject: Never Forget!
the 5th of November

16. June 2021, 18:04:47
ketchuplover 
Subject: Did you hear the one about the proctologists?
They fell in glove :)

6. June 2021, 01:03:02
ketchuplover 
Subject: Re:
pgt:

INFINITE GUFFAWAGE :)

5. June 2021, 17:06:42
Skyking 
ooookkkkk

5. June 2021, 10:08:50
pgt 
I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought “That’s the last thing I need!”

16. January 2021, 10:54:01
Mousetrap 
Subject: Re: Christmas Jokes
stingray1: Yep yep good

12. January 2021, 23:55:20
Skyking 
haha

18. December 2020, 07:01:17
stingray1 
Subject: Christmas Jokes
Q. What goes oh! oh! oh!?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
A. Rude-olph!

Q. What kind of music do Santa's helpers like?
A. Wrap music!

Q.What's every parent's favorite Christmas carol?
A. Silent Night!

7. December 2020, 08:56:50
Mousetrap 
Subject: Re:
pgt:

7. December 2020, 08:50:50
pgt 
If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

7. December 2020, 06:08:40
stingray1 
Subject: Re: Mummies Jokes
stingray1: correcting my typo to wrap music,

7. December 2020, 06:05:50
stingray1 
Subject: Mummies Jokes
Where do mummies go for a swim? Answer : to the dead sea !!! To
What kind of music do mummies like? Answer: wrap must !!!
Ha! Ha! Ha!

2. December 2020, 22:47:41
ketchuplover 
Subject: Sarah Fuller has been tasked...
with launching the United States' nuclear arsenal ....citizens are encouraged to evacuate now!

28. November 2020, 09:13:29
pgt 
And nothing funny has happened in the whole world for two months!

24. September 2020, 16:08:43
Haridaspal 
Subject: Re:
pgt: :) :)

22. September 2020, 23:56:45
pgt 
Studies show cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them. It’s a case of in one ear and out the udder.

19. September 2020, 15:17:56
Border C Rule 
Stay away from negative people, they have a problem for every solution.

Albert Einstein

19. September 2020, 11:43:27
Mousetrap 
Subject: Re: Ok - thanks for trying!
pgt: True!

19. September 2020, 11:16:32
pgt 
Subject: Ok - thanks for trying!
It would have been nice to have something more than a couple of riddles, but at least we are getting some action. This one will be appreciated by the native English speakers, so apologies to those to whom English is a second (or third) language:

No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between "complete"
and "finished." However, during a recent linguistic conference, held in
London, England, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese linguist, was asked to make
that very distinction.
The question by a colleague in the erudite audience was this: "Some say
there is no difference between 'complete' and 'finished.' Please explain the
difference in a way that is easy to understand."

Mr. Balgobin's response: "When you marry the right woman, you are
'complete.' If you marry the wrong woman, you are 'finished.' And, if the
right one catches you with the wrong one, you are 'completely finished.'"
His answer received a five minute standing ovation.

19. September 2020, 07:07:01
Haridaspal 
Subject: Re:
Nice works: Ha ha!

18. September 2020, 11:02:48
Border C Rule 
How many physiologists does it take to change a light bulb?


Only one, but the light bulb must really, really ...want to change

18. September 2020, 04:47:14
Border C Rule 
What do you get when you cross an insomniac with an agnostic and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up at night, wondering if there really is a dog.

17. September 2020, 16:48:25
Border C Rule 
Subject: Re:
they were studying for a blood test

17. September 2020, 14:31:58
Marshmud 
Why did the vampire stay up all night?

17. September 2020, 09:21:00
pgt 
Subject: Re:
ketchuplover: Thanks! About time we got some action

17. September 2020, 00:57:26
Mousetrap 
Subject: Re:
ketchuplover: Like em!

16. September 2020, 23:35:13
ketchuplover 
Q:. How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: You weren't there man!

Guy in a rain coat flashes a Jewish woman
Woman-"You call that a lining?"

16. September 2020, 12:48:04
pgt 
Why don't we have more jokes? Is it that something funny happens only once or twice a year? I have posted here three times in 18 months, and only one other joke since July 2019. I know how important it is to win games, but what what about a bit of fun along the way.
If three people will post a joke her in the next seven days, I post another three. Promise!!

27. July 2020, 00:24:24
Mousetrap 
Subject: Re: Time
pgt: Naw!

1. July 2020, 10:29:21
pgt 
Subject: Time
There was a time when we got a new joke every day, What's happened? Doesn't anybody have anything funny to say these days?

2. November 2019, 12:19:18
Haridaspal 
Subject: Re: Canaries
pgt:

Indeed! :D

24. October 2019, 07:23:16
pgt 
Subject: Canaries
Did you know that there are absolutely no canaries in the Canary Islands. It's exactly the same in the Virgin Islands.



There are no canaries there either

24. July 2019, 14:24:47
The Col 
Vacation is just your wife not liking any of your restaurant suggestions closer to the ocean.

17. June 2019, 14:48:09
crosseyed_uk 
Subject: Re:
pgt:

17. June 2019, 11:24:08
pgt 
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

12. February 2019, 15:16:03
ketchuplover 
Subject: Re: What do astronauts put on...
earldrake1:

Space Jam is correct!

12. February 2019, 13:37:43
metamorphosis 
Subject: Re: What do astronauts put on...
ketchuplover: Space Jam? Or maybe ketchup, since it goes with everything.

12. February 2019, 12:18:34
ArnieTxx 
Subject: Re: What do astronauts put on...
ketchuplover: An unidentified frying object.

12. February 2019, 10:57:05
pgt 
Subject: Re: What do astronauts put on...
ketchuplover: Riddles that last longer than about 30 seconds get a bit boring!

12. February 2019, 01:20:02
Walter Montego 
Subject: Re: What do astronauts put on...
ketchuplover: I will hope the answer is funnier than a fart in a space suit.

11. February 2019, 18:04:59
ketchuplover 
Subject: What do astronauts put on...
their toast?

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