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 Jokes

A place to share jokes, funny stories, and to just laugh in general :-)



Please remember this board can be (and is) accessed by children.
All jokes should be family friendly.
No profanity
No jokes of a sexual nature

KEEP IT PG rated

Thanks!



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7. March 2007, 17:56:08
nobleheart 
Subject: funny vehicle problem

28. July 2006, 15:48:49
nobleheart 
my karma ran over my dogma

26. July 2006, 19:15:04
nobleheart 
Subject: more funny signs

8. July 2006, 19:48:25
nobleheart 
Subject: out in the cornfield

7. July 2006, 03:21:46
nobleheart 
Subject: what crossed the road?
Modified by nobleheart (7. July 2006, 03:27:33)
http://www.factsjokesnfun.com/funny_picture/8/small_thumbs/sumos-cross-the-road.jpg

-
bob sent me this:
http://www.pypressusa.com/images/BobDylanChickenCartoon%20copy.jpg

-
http://cif.rochester.edu/~willdb/refurbished/rj20040604.png

-
http://www.murraythechicken.com/jokes/1why.gif

-
http://www.ananova.com/images/news/laughlabchickenPA410x223.jpg

-
a fowl link:
http://www.whydidthechickencrosstheroad.com/

-
What's your favorite chicken?
Fried
Barbequed
Broiled
Rubber
-
Why did the pigs cross the road with their laundry?
They wanted to do their hogwash snork snork snork
-
Why did the one-handed chicken cross the road?
To get to the secondhand shop.
-
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
to get to the hopping mall.
-
Why did the wasp cross the road?
It needed to go to the waspital
-
How do you keep a dog from crossing the road?
You put him in a barking lot.
-
Why did the otter cross the road?
To get to the otter side.
-
Where do animals go when they lose their tails?
They go across the road to the retail shop.
-
and last but not least,these:
Why did the chicken cross the muddy road and not come back?
Because he didn't want to be a dirty double-crosser.
-
Why did the hen go halfway across the road and stop?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
-

5. July 2006, 05:35:27
nobleheart 
Subject: signs of the times2

4. July 2006, 23:17:06
nobleheart 
Subject: cookie humour?

16. June 2006, 17:26:50
nobleheart 
Subject: signs of the times

12. June 2006, 22:33:41
nobleheart 
Subject: ok ok and now for something completely different..funny signs..c'mon can u brats find some:
ok ok so they weren't awake when they made the sign,maybe it was the high elevation..thin air..ya?
http://img241.echo.cx/img241/1885/sign4vp.jpg

http://gladstone.uoregon.edu/~nmuntal/images/funny%20sign%20church.jpg

9. June 2006, 20:12:32
nobleheart 

8. June 2006, 19:56:20
nobleheart 
Subject: snorkies

8. June 2006, 18:29:58
nobleheart 
Subject: Re: at the cocktail party
irishfrenchkiss: lol..what a chilly quip that was:
http://www.laze.net/images/other/oops.jpg

31. May 2006, 18:33:53
nobleheart 

12. May 2006, 20:36:52
nobleheart 
Modified by nobleheart (12. May 2006, 20:38:03)

11. May 2006, 16:48:11
nobleheart 
Subject: more funny fotos
Modified by nobleheart (11. May 2006, 16:55:45)

9. May 2006, 18:51:26
nobleheart 
Subject: funny fotos

25. April 2006, 17:31:14
nobleheart 
Subject: hey!!!
how did I get a doggie face¿

24. April 2006, 20:48:32
nobleheart 
Subject: a challenge to all our members with funny-bones
Modified by nobleheart (24. April 2006, 20:48:58)

24. April 2006, 19:19:48
nobleheart 
Modified by nobleheart (24. April 2006, 20:49:32)
2 cannibals were eating a comedian,one looked up at the other & said"does this taste funny to you?"

har har ho ho hee hee

17. April 2006, 23:18:47
nobleheart 
Subject: this is funny

17. April 2006, 23:15:33
nobleheart 
Subject: Re: The world's shortest fairytale
The Usurper: ah you don't know from funny

14. April 2006, 04:39:36
nobleheart 
Subject: no comment

14. April 2006, 04:30:27
nobleheart 
Subject: this is on my shopping list now

14. April 2006, 04:28:46
nobleheart 
he he he there is much truth in humour eh Maxxina...nice one

3. April 2006, 23:59:52
nobleheart 
Subject: hey ScarletRose

6. March 2006, 22:35:02
nobleheart 
Subject: Re:
amandalove: I have some clever,mathematicial & physics limmericks I could not post here if anyone is interested

2. March 2006, 19:33:20
nobleheart 
Subject: a search engine for those who like ducks

25. February 2006, 21:50:47
nobleheart 
Subject: cat stuff
"Dogs have owners, cats have staff." - Unknown
"To please himself only, the cat purrs." - Irish Proverb

"The last thing I would accuse a cat of is innocence." - Edward Paley (1786- 1847)

"Honest as the Cat when the meat's out of reach." - Old English saying

"There are no ordinary cats." - Colette

"The smallest feline is a masterpiece." - Leonardo da Vinci

"Nothing's more playful than a young cat, nor more grave than an old one." - Thomas Fuller

"No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." - Abraham Lincoln

1. February 2006, 21:45:43
nobleheart 
Subject: have you heard the curly shuffle
Modified by nobleheart (2. February 2006, 02:46:42)
its here:

Hear It

Lyrics

29. January 2006, 22:00:59
nobleheart 
Modified by nobleheart (2. February 2006, 02:47:13)

21. January 2006, 01:54:20
nobleheart 
Subject: I hope all you BK brats enjoyed the holidays...
...meditated on the true meaning of the season...
and didnt do anything to crazy for new years:
http://www.curiousjosh.com/gallery/albums/seaofdreamsla04/PICT1131.jpg


all the best to everyone in this year.

22. December 2005, 04:59:59
nobleheart 
Subject: ty..I love calvin & hobbs
Modified by nobleheart (2. February 2006, 02:51:22)

20. December 2005, 06:30:43
nobleheart 
Subject: santa humour
Modified by nobleheart (2. February 2006, 02:56:29)

4. December 2005, 18:37:53
nobleheart 
Subject: re :Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

22. November 2005, 04:51:37
nobleheart 
Subject: more silliness
There once was an angler from Brooklyn
Who ate all the fish that he took in
He was once heard to wish
While eating his fish
"I shouldn't have left the damn hook in"
--
There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think -
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

21. November 2005, 06:03:25
nobleheart 
Subject: Re: notable replies
amandalove: ty amanda,that is soo cool,and appeals to my scifi intellect.any more like that,feel free to share.
-----
how about these:
A graduate student from Trinity
Computed the cube of infinity;
But it gave him the fidgets
To write down all those digits,
So he dropped math and took up divinity.
--
A burleycque dancer, a pip
Named Virginia, could peel in a zip;
But she read science fiction
and died of constriction
Attempting a Moebius strip.
--
Three jolly sailors from Blaydon-on-Tyne,
They went to sea in a bottle by Klein,
Since the sea was inside the hull,
The scenery seen was exceedingly dull.
--
A research professor Renee,
Cloned people from ape DNA.
The project went well,
Anyone can tell,
'Cause they're members of congress today.
--
Miss Farad was pretty and sensual
And charged to a reckless potential;
But a rascal named Ohm
Conducted her home -
Her decline was, alas, exponential.
--
There once was a girl named Irene,
who lived on distilled kerosene.
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon,
And since then has never benzene!
--
An electron, while trav'ling in space,
Met a positron there "face-to-face."
The electron then sighed,
At the sight of his bride
And they "died" in a loving embrace.
--

20. November 2005, 02:24:39
nobleheart 
Subject: blonde jokies

18. November 2005, 23:15:37
nobleheart 
Subject: he he he

16. November 2005, 01:23:50
nobleheart 
Subject: your brain on brainking
we have all seen I think the anti-drug commercial on tv"your brain on drugs":
http://www.whitestonecafe.com/images/142_eggs-pan.jpg
--
well this is "your brain on brainking":
http://www.poopyjoe.com/a/images2/stress.jpg

1. November 2005, 00:26:55
nobleheart 
Subject: Re: Really cheeeeeeeeeeeeeezy joke....

31. October 2005, 18:08:21
nobleheart 
Subject: Re: Really cheeeeeeeeeeeeeezy joke....
Lamby: Lamby's been out in the cornfield again (groooaan)
--
http://www.theholidayspot.com/halloween/jokes.htm

25. October 2005, 02:29:05
nobleheart 
yes lol

25. October 2005, 02:17:56
nobleheart 

25. October 2005, 01:13:23
nobleheart 
Subject: Re: Remember him in a moment of silence
ScarletRose: LSHIPML..fthats very clever ScarletRose,did u make that up or find it?

19. October 2005, 03:00:47
nobleheart 
some fun stuff
weird-search-engines

strange stuff search engine
http://www.altervistas.com/

find a grave search engine
http://findagrave.com/index.html
http://findagrave.com/php/famous.php?page=gSearch&page=gSearch&globalSearchCriteria=

find the weather history of a place on any date
http://www.weatherunderground.com/history/airport/EDDI/1998/12/3/DailyHistory.html

find song lyrics re any keyword entered search engine
http://www.searchlyrics.org/?artist=&song=&lyric=ketchup

17. October 2005, 19:41:44
nobleheart 
Subject: 8^\

16. October 2005, 01:43:50
nobleheart 
Subject: watch about the blonde jokes..

14. October 2005, 06:10:15
nobleheart 
Subject: chuckle

12. October 2005, 02:59:02
nobleheart 
neither was just walking along the river edge

12. October 2005, 02:51:17
nobleheart 
Subject: Re:
Modified by nobleheart (12. October 2005, 02:59:11)
skipinnz: I dont hike through the woods with pants oFF!
maybe you need to go here:

Link edited due to nudity..

Please peeps try to remember children are present.. young children..

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