There's a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand.
This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT.
This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take 2 good friends to the nearest pub.
Purchase the antidote known as Work-lsolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE). The quickest acting WINE type is called Swift-Hitting-Infiltrator-Remover-AII-Zones (SHIRAZ) but this is only available for those who can afford it, the next best equivalent is Cheapest-Available-System-Killer (CASK).
Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
Forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
This virus is DEADLY (Destroys-Every-Available-Decent-Living-Youngster ).
Update 1-12-05: After extensive testing it has been concluded that: Best-Equivalent-Extractor-Remedy (BEER) may be substituted for WINE but may require more generous application.
Little Johnny comes home from school with a request for his father:
"Dad, I need to do a homework about politics and how government works. Can you help me?"
"Sure, that's easy", says the father. "It's sufficient to compare the government and society with our family:
I'm the money earner, call me the capitalist.
Your mom manages the family and spends the money: she's the government.
Your nanny works for us, she's the working class.
You are the people.
Your little brother George is the future generation.
Have you got all that?"
"Yes, I think so", answers little Johnny.
During the night, Little Johnny is awakened by George, who is crying. He gets up and sees that George needs to be changed. He goes to his parents' room and tries to wake his mother, but she's fast asleep. His dad isn't in bed. He goes to look for the nanny and finds his father deep... ah... in conversation with her. In the meanwhile George has calmed down, so Johnny goes back to sleep.
Next day at breakfast, Johnny tells his father:
"Dad, I now understand all about politics!"
"Really? What do you make of it?
"It's simple. I understand that capitalism screws the working class while the government's asleep, deaf to the calls of the people and happy to leave the future generation in s****!"