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 Jokes

A place to share jokes, funny stories, and to just laugh in general :-)



Please remember this board can be (and is) accessed by children.
All jokes should be family friendly.
No profanity
No jokes of a sexual nature

KEEP IT PG rated

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27. September 2006, 16:27:36
Gentlegiant101 
Subject: Re:
Universal Eyes: That is hilarious.

25. September 2006, 08:34:06
Gentlegiant101 
Subject: Re: Three bears, at breakfast time
ArnieTxx:LOL I love it! But,where does it say that Baby bear was a boy?

25. September 2006, 08:29:45
Gentlegiant101 
Subject: What is my "profile"?
Brain King shows me where to go to see my "profile". But what is my Profile? It would seem to me that a pro....file is a professional file which gets paid for what it does. Otherwise it would be an amateur...file! Or is my pro....file being paid somehow?

21. September 2006, 07:03:32
Gentlegiant101 
Subject: hearing the news!
A friend of mine just called to ask if I heard the latest news. "Yes I did" I told him.
"Wasn't it awesome!"
"What are you referring to?" I asked with a bit of bewilderment.
The news that you and I just heard.
"Oh that....."
"What do you mean by that?" my friend asked becoming a bit exasperated with me.
"Just that I heard the news in question, but that I didn't listen to it."

21. September 2006, 06:42:52
Gentlegiant101 
Subject: Re: oops
Stardust: And again I find myself wondering why I can't draw a gun to save my life. Out of desperation to find some sort of talent for art I went to Art..hur Murray's dance school. After the experience I decided that such a search was to a degree ARTificial and became peaceful with those talents that I have.

14. September 2006, 07:11:46
Gentlegiant101 
Subject: Re: Think about it
Skyking:round pizzas in square boxes because square pizzas don't fit in round boxes!
Morality from morons? Depends on what constitutes the morality in question. I may write mor....on that on another occasion! Thanks for your patients. I hope they get well real soon!
Can you cry under water? I sincerely can't answer that question. Nothing is stopping you from having a whale of a time trying to find out however!
Though the professor on Gilligan's Island was a very knowledgable man he wanted to keep the boat: hole and intact.
P.S. The boat, the S.S. Minnow is up for sale. It has been restored,not by a professor, and it is up for sale. The person selling it lives in Canada. And the hole is gone! Yes this post script leans towards perversion because there is nothing in it that constitutes comedy.

But lets'get funny. Not wanting one's two cents worth leads one to ask where the other penny went to? If I knew I might go and meet her and make her aquaintance. Things can get lonely here at times. Maybe that Penny would make a difference....if she isn't taken. She is probably an employee of the Federal government!
If I didn't answer all of your questions tell me and I'll complete the list of answers required.
In the meantime don't worry if your mind draws a blank. I was lousy at drawing and couldn't draw a gun to save my life!

29. August 2006, 07:09:26
Gentlegiant101 
Subject: Upside down pride parade?
Well, if your feet smell and your nose runs than you are one that can be viewed as upside down. I can't help but wonder how many people around the globe are using their runny nose to see if their feet smell!
The question is how many are proud to be upside down and are ready to flaunt it?

28. August 2006, 05:03:14
Gentlegiant101 
Subject: Re: not as aloof as assummed!
rabbitoid: Many English speaking people, here in North America anyways, pride themselves on being "COOL CATS" That may be the reason for them talking "cat"!

27. August 2006, 22:14:43
Gentlegiant101 
Subject: Re:
yoyudax: At least you weren't on CANDID CAMERA!

27. August 2006, 18:27:18
Gentlegiant101 
Subject: not as aloof as assummed!
Here in Quebec, Canada and in certain other areas of the globe I have noticed that cute little kitty cats have a strong interest in talking with other kitty cats by means of Messenger. this was a mysterious phenonymon for quite some time. Than it dawned on me. And sure enough. the French word for "cats" is "chats"!

29. July 2006, 03:11:48
Gentlegiant101 
Subject: Re:
Sarah1980: I can relate to that! LOL!

28. July 2006, 05:51:18
Gentlegiant101 
Subject: Looking for some insight.
People keep telling me that I must forget the past. As it is I keep forgetting to forget the past. Is my memory going on me or is there really nothing to worry about. I thank you for your response(s)in advance.

28. July 2006, 05:40:27
Gentlegiant101 
Subject: Re: Some Sayings of Maharishi Fattibumbum
Haridaspal: If the mobile always rings when you are in the bathroom why not bring the mobile in the bathroom with you?

27. July 2006, 21:07:35
Gentlegiant101 
Subject: Re: Habits
JackS: It is great and truly wonderful to see that the pope is becoming progressive in this area, as he should be. However, because the French word "habit" means "suit" as in "Suit and tie" in English, Hopefully the pope will write out his newly established permission in such a way that the French speaking preists will not feel excluded and made to feel that THEY must continue to abstain from kissing nuns.

27. July 2006, 06:49:30
Gentlegiant101 
Subject: Want to try your hand at acting?
I have done this often. The results are amazing if you succeed.
You casually walk up to some guy you know who has more confidence than you feel he deserves. You look around casually as if thinking about something (which you aren't) you do this for a little bit while the guy is absorbed in whatever. Than you react as if surprised as if you noticed something about his fly in his pants being open. (Don't overdo the act!)Than in a way that is best for you.....NOT SOMEBODY ELSE.... tell him that his fly is CLOSED. (in the same way you would if you were telling him that his fly IS actually OPEN. If distracted enough he WILL attempt to CLOSE his fly only to be dumbfounded to see that it is closed. So now just relax and watch as he deals with this perplexing issue until he realises that YOU DID TELL HIM THAT "HIS FLY IS CLOSED" Than wait to see how he deals with this info!
I have seen such confident guys become speachless and flustered so fast that I can truely say that it is COOL to watch and observe. But I always go after the guys who have some superior edge over me, a boss for example or a "class clown" who always gets the last word, etcetra.
Thanks for reading my post!

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