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Moderator: Purple , ScarletRose 
 Jokes

A place to share jokes, funny stories, and to just laugh in general :-)



Please remember this board can be (and is) accessed by children.
All jokes should be family friendly.
No profanity
No jokes of a sexual nature

KEEP IT PG rated

Thanks!



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26. January 2007, 13:28:13
Rose 
Subject: Re:
Dolittle: HEHE  Noooo comment!!! (Ziiipa da lip)

25. January 2007, 18:26:28
Rose 
Subject: Re:
Dolittle: Like a foul fowl??

Quack!!!!!

24. January 2007, 19:47:22
Rose 
Each to his own maybe. What is funny to one may not be funny to someone else. Some found it funny.

It was a pun, or a play on words. Very common for jokes 

17. December 2006, 15:12:27
Rose 
Since Milioi deleted his post I doubt if youd all mind me removing your posts pertaining to the message as they will confuse readers since the post is no longer there.

12. November 2006, 17:50:42
Rose 
Subject: Re: PLEASE READ
mook53lhd: Unfortunately due to your lack of punctuation I understand about half of your long message but I get the gist of it. There are rules here at brainking for a reason. Doesn't mean every one had to like them. If you would refer to the guide lines of the site you will see NO one died.
It is plain and simple:
There will be no swearing or sexual inuendos tolerated on this joke board.
It isn't just for children. Many adults don't think it is necessary to read that on a PUBLIC board. It cant be that hard to keep a joke clean with out using profanity or a sexual jab is it?
And sorry to say you are wrong that NO one cares. Plenty of people care what is written here, not everyone is willing to speak out publicly on the board about it.
I suggest if you really have a hard time posting FAMILY oriented joke then don't post. Most of the people I sent notes to who has posted jokes not appropriate for this board completely understood why it was edited or removed.

8. November 2006, 14:39:32
Rose 
Subject: PLEASE READ
ALL jokes must be PG. That means OK for young kids to read. We don't care if you swear in front of your kids and you think it is acceptable. It isn't here.
Do not use any profanity what so ever in your jokes. DONT hide bad words with a letter or two then ****. If you cant delete the swear for an acceptable clean word then please DONT bother to post here as it will be deleted.
No one is saying DONT post jokes. We just want every one to get that we are looking for clean family jokes with NO profanity or sexual references at all. Not that hard to follow really.
There are private fellowships for jokes that you must tell that are not acceptable here.

Thank you!

29. October 2006, 13:34:37
Rose 
Subject: Re: Moderators Guidelines.
crosseyed: Please read the top of the jokes board for guidelines

"(Please remember this board can be (and is) accessed by children. All jokes should be family friendly, thank you :o))"

All jokes should be totally family friendly even for small children who play here.

Please keep all jokes on a G rated format 
NOT PG or higher

29. June 2006, 14:04:16
Rose 
What is the difference between a goldfish and a goat?
A goldfish mucks around in the fountains....

15. May 2006, 19:52:31
Rose 
Subject: Re:
Sarah1980: Too funny!

18. April 2006, 23:06:09
Rose 
Subject: Re: just Humour
skipinnz: Not in Canada I'm afraid. I figured it must be. The only TipTop we have here is a tailer shop franchise!

Good joke tho!

18. April 2006, 23:02:42
Rose 
Subject: Re: just Humour
skipinnz: Is TipTop a bakery?

7. February 2006, 13:46:02
Rose 
Subject: Re: Ebay leather pants for sale
BananaD: Well, in the 80's I owned a pair myself! haha!
It was the thing to do!

6. February 2006, 23:02:24
Rose 
Subject: Ebay leather pants for sale

8. November 2005, 15:11:12
Rose 
Problem Name


The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo) is not

just an athlete....she is now a nurse currently working at the

Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not

permitted to answer the hospital telephones. It caused too much

confusion when she would answer the phone and say...



Picabo, ICU.



(A good clean joke is hard to find these days --- pass it on! )

13. August 2005, 15:41:04
Rose 
Subject: Re: The Year is 2029
volant: Not much if you brought your own oxygen! LOL

10. August 2005, 17:43:58
Rose 
Subject: Re: The Year is 2029
ScarletRose: scarey thoughts all round eh!

10. August 2005, 17:37:44
Rose 
Subject: The Year is 2029
Headlines from the year 2029!

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the
seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as
California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
Mexifornia's third language.

Baby conceived naturally - - scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least
10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and
reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to
weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lb..

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast
shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. ( I
just sent it. I didn't write it!)

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil
rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers,
fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with
congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

1. April 2005, 00:14:58
Rose 
Subject: Re: You Might Be A PC/internet addict If...
nobleheart: Hey I resemble that joke!

20. February 2005, 18:06:28
Rose 
Subject: Re: *Giggle*
DainBread: LMAO tanks for the splanation. You sure aren't what your nic says you is! LOL

16. February 2005, 17:20:57
Rose 
Subject: Re: Simple, but cool
Summertop: WHOA!!!! even when i TRIED to trick it by redoing the same number as last time I got the same symbol!
WHOAAAA neat! Ok who can explain it?

23. January 2005, 14:42:06
Rose 
Subject: Re: Near Tragedy at the Mall
Thad: Thanks.

23. January 2005, 14:30:26
Rose 
Subject: Re: Near Tragedy at the Mall
runningwolf: What is a secaltor?

24. December 2004, 15:27:03
Rose 
Subject: Re:
Winnie: Funny one Winnie!!

24. December 2004, 14:57:01
Rose 
Subject: Re:
EIHN: Yer either sick or twisted.. which is it?

18. February 2004, 16:04:54
Rose 
LMAO backoff
I entered my business site and it was hilarious! I wonder if I should change it to that text! lol

16. February 2004, 02:01:40
Rose 
Oh that Boudreaux!!!!

22. January 2004, 16:31:49
Rose 
LMAO!!!! Omg stop it yer killing me!!!

22. January 2004, 15:33:01
Rose 
Hey Linda I need Boudreaux to come do my accounting to balance it out like that!

9. January 2004, 14:34:18
Rose 
Jason Most hilarious stuff!! thanks for posting! (might not agree with all the courses for chickitas but very funny never the less!)

19. November 2003, 15:28:23
Rose 
Subject: Re:
It's a funny one tho!

19. November 2003, 14:37:08
Rose 
Subject: Re:
skyking, read the joke board, that NFL joke was told a few days ago :-)

13. November 2003, 14:00:34
Rose 
Subject: Re: well chatty,
Pedro maybe only to you it is sad, to most who read it they get a chuckle.

13. November 2003, 00:36:03
Rose 
Subject: Re:
Pedro your point is?

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