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 Jokes

A place to share jokes, funny stories, and to just laugh in general :-)



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27. March 2006, 14:44:12
Sarah 
<A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final
> > plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win
> > $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the
$32,000
> > milestone money.
> > As she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no
pushover.
> > It was: Which of the following species of birds does not build its own
> > nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it:
> >
> > A) the condor;
> > B) the buzzard;
> > C) the cuckoo; or
> > D) the vulture?"
> > The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was
doubly
> > on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience
> > Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline, and
the
> > woman had hoped against hope that she would not have to use it because
the
> > only friend that she knew would be home happened to be a blonde. But the
> > contestant had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the
> > question and the four choices.
> > The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C: The
> > cuckoo." The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She
> > considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer
except
> > the one that her friend had given her.
> > And considering that her friend was a blonde, it would seem to be the
> > logical thing to do. On the other hand -- the blonde had responded with
> > such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but
be
> > persuaded.
> >
> > "I need an answer," said Regis.
> >
> > Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."
> >
> > "Is that your final answer?" asked Regis.
> >
> > "Yes, that is my final answer."
> >
> > Two seconds la ter, Regis ! said, "I regret to inform you that the
answer
> > is ............ absolutely correct. You are now a millionaire!"
> >
> > Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and
friends
> > including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.
> >
> > "Jenny, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant.
> > "Because of your knowing the answer to that final question, I am now a
> > millionaire. And do you want to know something? It was your assuredness
> > with which you answered the question that persuaded me to go with your
> > choice. By the way......how did you happen to know the right answer?"
> >
> > "Oh, come on!" said the blonde. "Everybody knows that
> > cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks.

29. June 2006, 00:40:25
mook53lhd 
Subject: Re:
Sarah1980: that 1 i liked. good show .in clcks ha ha ha hooo hooo mook

29. June 2006, 02:19:14
Sarah 
Subject: Re:
mook53lhd: well I don't know what ?????means but I don't think I like it

29. June 2006, 04:50:28
rednaz23 
Subject: Re:
Sarah1980 and mook53lhd: orange and green zebras... blah!!! Let's not blow anything up...

29. June 2006, 14:00:40
Sarah 
Subject: Re:
rednaz23: well he started it , so talk to him

30. June 2006, 02:55:41
rednaz23 
Subject: Re:
Sarah1980: You know he may have started it, but you didn't have to do anything in return... To take a well known quote and change it a bit... "Only the foolish will follow a fool."

30. June 2006, 14:00:27
Sarah 
Subject: Re:
rednaz23: I think we are over it now 

29. June 2006, 17:58:23
mook53lhd 
Subject: Re:
Sarah1980: ???? meant questioning. as in i didn`t get your posts gist. i should have said what are you questioning ---i just made a blanket statement. how can you not like ????? .anyway my error for confusing you. i try & type the least possible amount of char. oh characters. my keyboard skips etc anyway i type with 1 finger. believe it i get aches & pains there at times. so i use symbols or 4 =for thats all it was.so tell me a joke mook53lhd

29. June 2006, 19:48:54
Sarah 
Subject: Re:
mook53lhd: There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The  person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas." When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas." After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the  bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right."  The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and  skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"

1. July 2006, 00:06:44
mook53lhd 
Subject: Re:
Sarah1980: i`ve been to the big texan in amarillo ,i savvy about texas .amusing story. i spent over a whole day (in the olden days) hitching up from el paso to dallas .bigger than big the eyes of texas were sure upon me . mook53lhd

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