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 Jokes

A place to share jokes, funny stories, and to just laugh in general :-)



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2. March 2004, 17:48:49
Linda J 
Subject: Smart Women
To smart women everywhere!
1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde. -Dolly Parton-
2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong-
3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. -Rita Rudner-
4. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman-
5. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck-
6. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. - Sue Grafton-
7. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr-
8. I think, therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead-
9. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler-
10. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson-
11. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. -Gilda Radner-
12. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher-
13. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -Gloria Steinhem-
14. I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. -Marie Corelli-
15. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. - Baroness Edith Summerskill
16. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck -Linda Ellerbee
17. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor-

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