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 Jokes

A place to share jokes, funny stories, and to just laugh in general :-)



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30. September 2004, 03:03:32
Skyking 
Subject: Martha Stewart vs Maxine
Martha's Way  
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Maxine's Way  
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet  up eating it, anyway! 
Martha's Way  
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Maxine's Way  
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year. 
Martha's Way   
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake
Maxine's Way  
Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you. 
Martha's Way   
If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Maxine's Way  
If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!" 
 Martha's Way  
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Maxine's Way  
Celery? Never heard of it!
Martha's Way  
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Maxine's Way  
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.
Martha's Way  
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Maxine's Way  
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!
Martha's Way  
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Maxine's Way  
Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.
Martha's Way  
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. 
Maxine's Way  
Leftover wine???????? HEL-LO !!!!!.

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