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 Jokes

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24. June 2004, 20:51:20
Summertop 
Subject: Remember.....THE OLD HOLLYWOOD SQUARES.
If you remember this show and its comics, this will bring a tear to your eyes.They are well worth the time it takes to read them. These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course. The younger readers among you won't know who some of these people are. Go ask your parents.


Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.




Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.




Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.




Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.




Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.




Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.




Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.




Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.




Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?





Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.




Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.




Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

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