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I tried to put up a new shelf
But it kept falling down by itself.
No, I don't feel no shame
And I won't take the blame;
It's the fault of that do-it-your elf.
I bought a new hoover today,
Plugged it in in the usual way,
Switched it on; what a din;
It sucked everything in,
Now I'm homeless and no place to stay.