From here and there:

1. Whenever you find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

2. The road to success is always under construction.

3. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think of it,
neither does milk.

4. In order to get a loan, you are first required to prove that you
don't need it.

5. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or
fattening.

6. Since light travels faster than sound, people appear brighter
before you hear them speak.

7. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever
tried.

8. Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most
inaccessible corner.

9. 42.73% of all statistics is made on the spot.

10. As soon as you mention something ... if it is good, it is
taken ... If it is bad, it happens.

11. The golden rule - He who has the gold, makes the rules.

12. If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late, the bus is
still late.

13. Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being
sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

14. When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the
person in front of you will always have the most complex of
transactions.

15. If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

16. All buses are crowded... all buses in the opposite direction
always go empty.

17. The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the
bathroom.

18. If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

19. The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the
errors until another person is fired or quits.

20. Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the
cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.