If you bought $1000 of Nortel stock a year ago, it would now be worth $49.

With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1,000.

With WorldCom,you would have less than $5 left.

Now, if you bought $1,000 worth of Beer over the past year, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling price, you would have $214.

Based on these figures, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. This is my new retirement program.

I call it my 401Keg