... I quickly read through the last 20 or so message, so if this has been suggested as a solution, sorry.

Why not have 2 types of ratings? 1 for non-tournament games, and 1 for tournament games. This way if people just want to play the "easy win" games, they can do it as a non tournament - but play tournament games where your color is random (if it's not a new 2 player match), and a little more accurate of a players true skills.