Whats the difference between an Australian and a pig?
Pigs dont turn into Australians when drunk

How do you get an Australian onto a roof?
Tell them the drinks are on the house

What do you call an Australian woman with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant

What did the Australian girls right leg say to the left leg?
Nothing..they never met

Why do Australians men prefer Blondes?
They like the interlectual company

Why do Australians put XXXX on cans of lager?
Because they cant spell beer

What do you call an Australian in a suit?
The defendant

NEWSFLASH An Australian library burnt down at the weekend and 2 books were destroyed