A 7 year old boy is having dinner with his parents when suddenly he announces that me and Jane next door are getting married. "Oh" says the mother amused, "How old is Jane?. "Six", says the boy. "What are you going to do for money?" asks the father. The boy says, "I get 5 dollars a week allowance and Jane gets 3 dollars. Together we'll be okay." "What will you do if you have children?" asks the father. The boy says, "Well, so far we've been lucky."
A man calls the police department stating that he heard gunshots at his neighbor's next door apartment. A policeman quickly arrives and knocks on the door, A lady answers the door with a gun her hand, The cop is shocked and while standing in the hall, he asked the lady "What happened?' 'I just shot my husband." She says "Why did you do that? the cop asks "I just washed the floor and my husband walked all over it." she says The cop doesn't know what to do so he called his captain and tells him the story. The captain tells him to go in and arrest her. The cop says "Are you kidding me? I'm not going in there.The floor is still wet."
A man tells his birthday : Two weeks ago was my 40 th birthday, and my morale wasn't at the top. But I knew that when I'll wake up, my wife wouldn't forget to wish me a "Happy Birthday" and to give me a gift. But this morning, she didn't say "Hello" and no "Happy Birthday". So I thought : " it doesn't matter, it happens to me to forget. But the children, they will remember. But the kids forgot too. So when I went to work, my morale was really the lowest. As I arrived at the office, Julie, my secretary told me : " Hello boss, happy birthday " and now, my morale began to rise. I worked on the morning, and when lunchtime came, Julie knocked on my door and said : " Boss, today is your birthday, and it's a beautiful day. You could invite me for lunch " so I said " ok, let's go ". For lunch, we chose a small restaurant away from the city. The meal was very nice and my secretary take care of me. Leaving the restaurant Julie said : " Boss, if we didn't go back to work this afternoon ? " As I didn't answer, she added : " Let's go to my apartment, I'll show you my collection of Chinese vases ". We soon were at her home. With a glass of Cognac, she said : " If it doesn't bother you, boss, I'll go to the bathroom to change my clothes ".... Of course, I agreed. When she came back, I had also taken some clothes off. And with my underpants, I saw my secretary, my wife, my children and all the office team. All sang "Happy Birthday" while bringing a very big cake ! Sometimes, life is dreadful .....
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind and thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we are apart. Both of us can be forever happy - will you let me be yours? Gloria
Version 2 ------------ Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind and thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn; for you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we are apart, both of us can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Gloria
Относно: Re: "30 Jokes Only Intellectuals Will Understand"
A mathematician is at a restaurant with several of his friends. After the meal, they ask for separate bills. When the mathematician approaches the cashier, she asks him, "Where is your bill?" He hands her a slip of paper with the number 1004180 written on it. She smiles, and says "That's okay."