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18. september 2006, 19:54:01
alanback 
Ämne: A cure for the pain of losing
I have found that the pang the ego feels when a match is lost goes away much more quickly when I type "good game :)" and sense the enjoyment my opponent will feel, not only from winning, but from being congratulated by the loser.  Backgammon being the way it is, you're going to lose a lot of games no matter how good you are.  It's good practice for dealing with the fact that the world doesn't always send us what we desire, at least not immediately.  We play to share the excitement of not knowing what the next dice roll will bring, as well as the pleasure of playing well, not to mention the camaraderie we find here on BrainKing.  There have been many occasions when I have remained grumpily silent as the last rolls of a losing match played out.  Those negative vibes I send out make me miserable without affecting my opponent much, if at all.  

Since we are all one soul, the success of any of us is the success of all.  This is one way to feel that directly!

Namaste

18. september 2006, 21:48:00
skipinnz 
Ämne: Re: A cure for the pain of losing
alanback:Nah it still sucks to lose LOL

18. september 2006, 22:04:11
alanback 
Ämne: Re: A cure for the pain of losing
skipinnz:  Sure it does.  But that pain is in the ego, not the soul.

18. september 2006, 23:05:48
pgt 
Ämne: Re: A cure for the pain of losing
alanback: And do you wish your opponents "good luck" (or the even the worse "gl" for the typing-inhibited), not really meaning it, and hoping that you yourself actually get all the good luck? (I now respond to "Good luck" with "Have fun" or some similar friendly greeting. Anybody who wishes me "gl" simply get "tfwmgl" or similar decipher.)

18. september 2006, 23:08:10
alanback 
Ämne: Re: A cure for the pain of losing
Ändrat av alanback (18. september 2006, 23:13:06)
pgt:  I try very hard to wish my opponents good luck, and to mean it.  When I'm not under the control of my ego, I usually succeed!  The important point is to recognize that the self and the ego are different, and to simply be aware when one's actions are dictated by ego.

My original post was copied from my posting on the Dailygammon message board . . . my intention is to help make the game more enjoyable for everyone!

18. september 2006, 23:13:07
grenv 
Ämne: Re: A cure for the pain of losing
alanback: Actually I am always wishing myself good luck, why on earth would I want my opponent to get all the luck? If you deny that you are fooling only yourself.

Of course at the end it's only a game so how come all the philisophical pontificating?

18. september 2006, 23:18:54
alanback 
Ämne: Re: A cure for the pain of losing
grenv:  If you have already realized that it's just a game then you get my point already.  I was speaking to my own ego and the egoic behavior I have witnessed in myself and others.

Pontificating?  I make no claim to infallibility :-)  Or are you suggesting that I put my foot in my mouth?

I wish my opponent good luck as a courtesy; I don't intend to influence the dice one way or another.  

18. september 2006, 23:25:17
grenv 
Ämne: Re: A cure for the pain of losing
alanback: Of course "wishing" good luck doesn't intend to influence the dice, but does seem to indicate a desire that your opponent be lucky. This is falacious at best.

Pontificate merely means to speak in a dogmatic manner, it doesn't imply infallibility. In fact given it's derivation it's surprising it doesn't mean exactly the opposite.

18. september 2006, 23:29:46
Thad 
Ämne: Re: A cure for the pain of losing
Ändrat av Thad (18. september 2006, 23:30:10)
grenv: I agree that most of us say "good luck" when we might not really mean it, especially in backgammon, where the luck of the dice has a strong outcome on many games. Do what I do, say, "Aloha". ;-)

18. september 2006, 23:41:06
alanback 
Ämne: Re: A cure for the pain of losing
Thad:  Great idea!

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