A priest sees a man kneeling at a tombstone, weeping and wailing, and crying out "Oh, why did you have to leave me?"

Overwhelmed with compassion, the priest walks over to the man to try and comfort him. He asks "Who are mourning for, my son?"

The man replies, "My wifes first husband."

A man is boasting to his friends, saying that last night his wife was on her knees and begging him. His friends, in awe, pleaded with him to tell them what she said. So he told them.

She said "Come out from under the bed and fight like a man!"