alilsassy: It fills the void, for a little while. That's why a serial harasser needs constant top ups.

But as you said.. just walk away and ignore them, thus returning the 'gift' to them.

SL-Mark: To some respect you are correct, to some you are not. Abuse is a cycle, passed down from abuser to abused, which unfortunately leaves scars. If you are the 1 in 8.. well..... but for those who are not, especially as adults.. it does become the abused persons problem, as they now have to sort out the scars or live with them for the rest of their lives. There is no guilt on the abused.. although some feel like it.

Anyway, this is a complex... realistically individual matter to each abused person. So.. no more.

rod03801: I will keep you all updated....

Well this is all well and good, but there are systems here at Brainking that should keep Bernice from having to even see it. There has to be a way to get it to work correctly. From experience, I know that it can work correctly. I think if she follows a combination of coan.net's and czuch's advice it might work properly.

Bernice:
You should never tolerate harassment or other users making you feel uncomfortable.
Verbal Abusers & Stalkers get a major thrill from making you angry. It is a cycle that repeats over and over again.
Abusing or Stalking is a matter of one person trying to control another. Controlling you brings them pleasure. If they can force you to react this gives them even greater pleasure. If you scream, rant and rave they win. If you panic. They win. If you make empty threats to them, they win. If you argue with a stalker, they win. If you run around telling all your friends and the stalker hears about it, the stalker wins.
So the simplest way to stop a stalker (in the early stages) is DON'T REACT. Make them get bored and move on.
I know it's frustrating, but alanback is right. Try to ignore him & he'll go away. Good luck

alanback: I do believe I understand what you mean, and to an extent would agree with you.
Excuse my extreme example below, as perhaps this was unfair.
Briefly, as this potentially interesting debate is best done off this board, the self conditioning that you imply, surely results in the de-sensitising of emotions and reactions. The very things that surely make us human and not machine.

SL-Mark:Perhaps you misunderstand me.  No doubt a child abuser has a problem.  However, the shock and disgust to which you refer are entirely within the control of the viewer.  They serve no purpose other than to disturb the viewer's equanimity.

alanback: That is seriously flawed logic.
It is like saying that the emotions of shock and disgust most humans would experience when confronted with something despicable, e.g. child abuse, is our problem and not the abusers problem.

Furthermore, in an example of an advertised television programme which might cause offense, we can choose not to watch it. Bernice has no choice, but is rightly taking responsibility and control so that she may have a choice.

Bernice:Because the real problem is not the "crap", but your reaction to it.  If you can control your reaction, you don't have to worry about controlling events outside yourself.  The easiest way to avoid being bothered by other people's behavior is to realize that it's not about you, but about them. 

Czuch: I have done that so lets see what happens now.....thanks

Alanback why should anybody have to put up with crap they dont want/need.........

Bernice:Try telling yourself that whatever is going on is his problem, not yours, and you needn't worry about or be bothered by it.

Bernice: Try taking him off blocked users list, and then before you add him back on, then check his profile and there should be a link to remove him from your friends list then?

coan.net: I went to take him off "friends list" and on his profile all I get is to take him off my blocked user list :(

I have already taken him off and put him back on the blocked user list :(

Bernice: Do you also have him on your friends list? (if so, remove him)

Another thing to try - try to remove him from your blocked users list - and re-add him to see if that will help or not.

rod03801: this is during a game..........how can I retire from games with this idjit and not affect my BKR, or not actually give him a win in tournaments? by doing so?

Bernice: Hmm. That shouldn't happen. Seems like a strange bug? I don't get messages in games from someone I have on my blocked users list. I believe there used to be a work around where someone could send you game/fellowship/tournament invitations with messages even if they were blocked, but I believe Fencer fixed that one.

rod03801: games messages....I dont want to even talk the the useless idiot and yet I have to read his abuse and sexual suggestions....If he was built like Mel Gibson and had his money/ looks etc I might put up with it but he is an ugly, fat bugger LOL

he is on my "blocked users" list

Bernice: How are you receiving messages from him/her. In what form, I mean?

I have this IDIOT on my blocked users list.....I still keep getting abusive messages.....why? and how can I stop it............

rod03801: :-) It's good to be back, thankyou ! Had forgotten how addictive it was though !!! And it was obvious once you'd told me where to look .. couldn't see it for looking ;-D

Niki: You're welcome, and welcome back.

rod03801: Thankyou very much :-)

Niki: Of course if you meant Fellowship discussion boards, you can remove those from the "Favorite Boards" list the same way. However, those discussion boards will still show up in the "Fellowships" list, just below the "favorite boards" list. The only way you can remove those on THAT list, is to leave the fellowship.

Niki: I can't think of any public boards that are not available to Pawns. (Except for Members Only board). However, any board you want to remove from your "Favorite Boards" list, is very easy. Go to the board, and slightly below the description of the board, you will see "remove from favourite boards". Just click that, and it will vanish.

Hi, sorry, this may be the wrong board, and a really obvious question .. I haven't been here for a very long time, though I was here right at the start :-) But it means I've forgotten how to do silly stuff, and just can't seem to find the answers anywhere .. how do I 'manage' my favourite boards now ? for example I wish to delete a board that I know longer have access to as I'm not a member (don't worry fencer, think I may be rectifying that soon ;-D)

are we going to see no limit hold-em tournaments anytime soon?

MadMonkey: Although BrainKing contains many daemon processes, stalking in the depths of logical instructions and terminating ghosts in the machine, none of them is instructed to delete fellowship teams.

Fencer: If it was a Team we were part of, or had a reason to go and look at i would agree BUT i can see NO reason why Me or LB would even look at the 2 Teams involved, as they are not exactly the most popular ones here

To delete 2 separate Teams accidentally , which would include ticking the little box is VERY unlikely

MadMonkey: Because either you or the Little Boss deleted them. Accidentally, most likely.

Just noticed something while going through the Madhouse Teams.

Why all of a sudden have i not got Small Pente & Small Keyro Pente Teams, and it wants me to create them AGAIN.

Why did they un-create themselves

we know he is slow .. we know the way he is using his vacation day settings .. if you have something with him .. contact him personally via a pm

rabbitoid:
Now be nice, he made 28 moves today, he must be exhausted.

alexlee: Of course, the fact that the guy doesn't seem to speak English may has something to do with him not posting :)

rabbitoid:
I believe Fencer too and I am sure he is thinking about it...but if he thinks to long he might see the bird as the perfect member. Buy a forever membership then just drop in to update your vacation! Guy never complains or post annoying messages on the boards that Fencer has to deal with

Bernice: Actually the other person can still type in-game messages, but you won't see them if they are on your blocked user list. (So they may get "mad" when you don't answer.)

For those interested i have just tidied up the MUSIC Discussion Board

Sadly it looks like Eriisa is not about at present, so i have created a new Music Quiz, that will run daily

Please feel free to join in HERE

Also, feel free to embed any videos you wish, or use Hyper Links.

Any other ideas, please let me know or post there

And, dont forget to enter the BrainKing 'MUSIC' Challenge

Bernice:

redfrog: would that stop messages but the games could still be played?

alexlee, Pedro Martínez: If Fencer said it is not going to last long, I believe him. He's been successful in closing loopholes before. Thanks for keeping it alive

Bernice: blocking would be the only option... at this time...

Is there any way in an individual game where one can turn off the message section with ones opponent.

The language and suggestions of some people isnt worth reading.

Dont tell me not to play against them because it is in tournaments and I dont really have a choice.

alexlee: He must have a different agenda then. :)

Pedro Martínez:
The really funny part is he paid for a forever membership to NOT play any games

alexlee: Should be worth at least 300 points. Or 300 vacation days.

rabbitoid:
Now that is what I call a real Achievement

joshi tm: Yes.

Fencer, that reward for achieving the bonus Conqueror Achievement... is that a pernament one?

Czuch: if you do a mouse over on the light bulb tells you when that code will finish

joshi tm: Thanks Josh... very timely....BTW, it is a red right now for anyone interested.

Carl: It's bonus code time again, so if you buy a membership you can get extra bonusses to it according to the bonus coloured codes.