A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a
year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well.

Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he

could arrange a divorce for him-"very quick". The lawyer said that the

speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked

him the following questions:

LAWYER: Have you any grounds ?

POLE: JA, JA, an acre and half and a nice little home with 3 bedrooms.

LAWYER "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is

made of concrete, brick and mortar," he responded.

LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"

"No," he replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

LAWYER "I mean, What are your relations like?"

"All my relations are in Poland."

LAWYER: "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound.We

don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

LAWYER: No, I mean Does your wife beat you up?

POLE: NO, I'm always up before her.

LAWYER: is your wife a nagger?

POLE: NO, she white.

LAWYER: WHY do you want this divorce?

POLE: SHE going to kill me.

LAWYER: What makes you think that?

POLE: I got proof.

LAWYER: What kind of proof?

POLE: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drug store

and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read - it says, "Polish Remover".