An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York. "I hate to ruin your
day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.
Forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call
your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck
they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She
calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting
divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my
brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a
thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?"

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay, they're
coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares .. Now what do we tell
them for Christmas?"