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 Jokes

A place to share jokes, funny stories, and to just laugh in general :-)



Please remember this board can be (and is) accessed by children.
All jokes should be family friendly.
No profanity
No jokes of a sexual nature

KEEP IT PG rated

Thanks!



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6. Juin 2021, 01:03:02
ketchuplover 
Sujet: Re:
pgt:

INFINITE GUFFAWAGE :)

5. Juin 2021, 17:06:42
Skyking 
ooookkkkk

5. Juin 2021, 10:08:50
pgt 
I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought “That’s the last thing I need!”

16. Janvier 2021, 10:54:01
Mousetrap 
Sujet: Re: Christmas Jokes
stingray1: Yep yep good

12. Janvier 2021, 23:55:20
Skyking 
haha

18. Décembre 2020, 07:01:17
stingray1 
Sujet: Christmas Jokes
Q. What goes oh! oh! oh!?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
A. Rude-olph!

Q. What kind of music do Santa's helpers like?
A. Wrap music!

Q.What's every parent's favorite Christmas carol?
A. Silent Night!

7. Décembre 2020, 08:56:50
Mousetrap 
Sujet: Re:
pgt:

7. Décembre 2020, 08:50:50
pgt 
If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

7. Décembre 2020, 06:08:40
stingray1 
Sujet: Re: Mummies Jokes
stingray1: correcting my typo to wrap music,

7. Décembre 2020, 06:05:50
stingray1 
Sujet: Mummies Jokes
Where do mummies go for a swim? Answer : to the dead sea !!! To
What kind of music do mummies like? Answer: wrap must !!!
Ha! Ha! Ha!

2. Décembre 2020, 22:47:41
ketchuplover 
Sujet: Sarah Fuller has been tasked...
with launching the United States' nuclear arsenal ....citizens are encouraged to evacuate now!

28. Novembre 2020, 09:13:29
pgt 
And nothing funny has happened in the whole world for two months!

24. Septembre 2020, 16:08:43
Haridaspal 
Sujet: Re:
pgt: :) :)

22. Septembre 2020, 23:56:45
pgt 
Studies show cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them. It’s a case of in one ear and out the udder.

19. Septembre 2020, 15:17:56
Border C Rule 
Stay away from negative people, they have a problem for every solution.

Albert Einstein

19. Septembre 2020, 11:43:27
Mousetrap 
Sujet: Re: Ok - thanks for trying!
pgt: True!

19. Septembre 2020, 11:16:32
pgt 
Sujet: Ok - thanks for trying!
It would have been nice to have something more than a couple of riddles, but at least we are getting some action. This one will be appreciated by the native English speakers, so apologies to those to whom English is a second (or third) language:

No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between "complete"
and "finished." However, during a recent linguistic conference, held in
London, England, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese linguist, was asked to make
that very distinction.
The question by a colleague in the erudite audience was this: "Some say
there is no difference between 'complete' and 'finished.' Please explain the
difference in a way that is easy to understand."

Mr. Balgobin's response: "When you marry the right woman, you are
'complete.' If you marry the wrong woman, you are 'finished.' And, if the
right one catches you with the wrong one, you are 'completely finished.'"
His answer received a five minute standing ovation.

19. Septembre 2020, 07:07:01
Haridaspal 
Sujet: Re:
Nice works: Ha ha!

18. Septembre 2020, 11:02:48
Border C Rule 
How many physiologists does it take to change a light bulb?


Only one, but the light bulb must really, really ...want to change

18. Septembre 2020, 04:47:14
Border C Rule 
What do you get when you cross an insomniac with an agnostic and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up at night, wondering if there really is a dog.

17. Septembre 2020, 16:48:25
Border C Rule 
Sujet: Re:
they were studying for a blood test

17. Septembre 2020, 14:31:58
Marshmud 
Why did the vampire stay up all night?

17. Septembre 2020, 09:21:00
pgt 
Sujet: Re:
ketchuplover: Thanks! About time we got some action

17. Septembre 2020, 00:57:26
Mousetrap 
Sujet: Re:
ketchuplover: Like em!

16. Septembre 2020, 23:35:13
ketchuplover 
Q:. How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: You weren't there man!

Guy in a rain coat flashes a Jewish woman
Woman-"You call that a lining?"

16. Septembre 2020, 12:48:04
pgt 
Why don't we have more jokes? Is it that something funny happens only once or twice a year? I have posted here three times in 18 months, and only one other joke since July 2019. I know how important it is to win games, but what what about a bit of fun along the way.
If three people will post a joke her in the next seven days, I post another three. Promise!!

27. Juillet 2020, 00:24:24
Mousetrap 
Sujet: Re: Time
pgt: Naw!

1. Juillet 2020, 10:29:21
pgt 
Sujet: Time
There was a time when we got a new joke every day, What's happened? Doesn't anybody have anything funny to say these days?

2. Novembre 2019, 12:19:18
Haridaspal 
Sujet: Re: Canaries
pgt:

Indeed! :D

24. Octobre 2019, 07:23:16
pgt 
Sujet: Canaries
Did you know that there are absolutely no canaries in the Canary Islands. It's exactly the same in the Virgin Islands.



There are no canaries there either

24. Juillet 2019, 14:24:47
The Col 
Vacation is just your wife not liking any of your restaurant suggestions closer to the ocean.

17. Juin 2019, 14:48:09
crosseyed_uk 
Sujet: Re:
pgt:

17. Juin 2019, 11:24:08
pgt 
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

12. Février 2019, 15:16:03
ketchuplover 
Sujet: Re: What do astronauts put on...
earldrake1:

Space Jam is correct!

12. Février 2019, 13:37:43
earldrake1 
Sujet: Re: What do astronauts put on...
ketchuplover: Space Jam? Or maybe ketchup, since it goes with everything.

12. Février 2019, 12:18:34
ArnieTxx 
Sujet: Re: What do astronauts put on...
ketchuplover: An unidentified frying object.

12. Février 2019, 10:57:05
pgt 
Sujet: Re: What do astronauts put on...
ketchuplover: Riddles that last longer than about 30 seconds get a bit boring!

12. Février 2019, 01:20:02
Walter Montego 
Sujet: Re: What do astronauts put on...
ketchuplover: I will hope the answer is funnier than a fart in a space suit.

11. Février 2019, 18:04:59
ketchuplover 
Sujet: What do astronauts put on...
their toast?

10. Février 2019, 01:19:10
Nothingness 
Sujet: Re:
pgt: Its the Nigel part..that his name is Nigel..not grasshopper

8. Novembre 2018, 23:56:04
ketchuplover 
Sujet: Re:
Skyking:

stop it man you're killing me :)

7. Novembre 2018, 19:10:10
Skyking 
By the way I was stationed in the Aleutian islands at Shemya AFB>

26. Octobre 2018, 11:02:44
pgt 
Sujet: Come on let's get some jokes again!. It's not ALL serious!
Puns for the Educated Mind

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, But it turned
out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky-maker, But he loved her still.

4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, Because
it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, It'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road And was cited for
littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France Would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall.
The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray Is now a
seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts.
In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary,
They got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, You'd be in Seine.

21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane.
The stewardess says, 'I'm sorry, only one carrion allowed per
passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.'
The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was a person who sent ten puns to friends, With the hope that
at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.

25. Octobre 2018, 16:29:55
Doris 
Sujet: Re: Wow
Backoff: Good to see you back! :}

25. Octobre 2018, 14:30:34
Doris 
Sujet: Re: The Genie
Haridaspal:

24. Octobre 2018, 15:59:57
ketchuplover 
Sujet: Re: Let's get this going again
pgt
I did not figure it out :(

24. Octobre 2018, 11:09:20
pgt 
Sujet: Let's get this going again
Ten (10) Things I know about you.

1) You are reading this.

2) You are human.

3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.

4) You just attempted to do it.

6) You are laughing at yourself.

7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.

8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.

9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it, too.

10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.

You have received this e-mail because I didn't want to be alone in the idiot category.
TO ALL MY INTELLIGENT FRIENDS (Sorry Ike I forgot I sent this to you)

Keep that brain working; try to figure this one out...

See if you can figure out what these seven words all have in common?
1. Banana
2. Dresser
3. Grammar
4. Potato
5. Revive
6. Uneven
7. Assess


Give it another try..
Look at each word carefully. You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer.

REMEMBER I ONLY SENT THIS TO MY SMART FRIENDS

NOW DON'T LET ME DOWN

No, it is not that they all have at least 2 double letters....
Answer is below!


Answer:

In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word.

Did you figure it out?

15. Octobre 2018, 06:35:30
rabbitoid 
2 years without a publication and then it's a SPAM.
Bye, joke board

15. Octobre 2018, 04:06:26
pgt 
Sujet: Re: Purchase Database Registered,Ielts,Toefl,Toeic,Passports,ID,driverlicense
Walter Montego: I'm with you. (Perhaps the whole thing is a joke, but I not laughing either)

15. Octobre 2018, 03:08:06
Walter Montego 
Sujet: Re: Purchase Database Registered,Ielts,Toefl,Toeic,Passports,ID,driverlicense
mandpoll950: I am missing the punchline to your joke. Perhaps you could explain it?

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