1. Your wife hollers "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"

2. You have a house that's mobile and 15 cars that aren't.

3. The tires on your truck cost more than your truck.

4. Your working television is sitting on your non-working television.

5. You wear a dress that's strapless and a bra that isn't.

6. You have ever been accused of lying through your tooth.

7. You have been married 3 times and have the same in-laws.