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 Jokes

A place to share jokes, funny stories, and to just laugh in general :-)



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25. октомври 2005, 21:08:44
ScarletRose 
Относно: Dieting Under Stress
Променен от ScarletRose (25. октомври 2005, 21:10:24)
Yield: 1 Day

~*~*~*~BREAKFAST~*~*~*~

1/2 Grapefruit
1 sl Whole wheat toast, dry
8 oz Skim milk


~*~*~*~LUNCH~*~*~*~

4 oz Lean broiled chicken breast
1 c Steamed spinach
1 c Herb tea
1 Oreo cookie


~*~*~*~MIDAFTERNOON SNACK~*~*~*~

Rest of Oreos in the package
2 pt Rocky Road ice cream
1 Jar hot fudge sauce
Nuts
Cherries
Whipped cream


~*~*~*~DINNER~*~*~*~

2 Loaves garlic bread with - cheese
1 lg Sausage, mushroom & cheese
-pizza
4 cn Beer OR
1 lg Pitcher of beer
3 Milky Way or Snickers Candy
-bars


Rules for this diet:

  • If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no
    calories.
  • If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories
    in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
  • When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
  • Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot
    chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake
  • If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
  • Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. (Example: Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, or Tootsie Rolls).
  • Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
  • Things licked off knives or spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples: peanut butter on a knife while making sandwiches or ice cream on a spoon while making a sundae.
  • Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream or mushrooms and white chocolate.

    NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substitited for any other food color.

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