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 Jokes

A place to share jokes, funny stories, and to just laugh in general :-)



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26. Oktober 2004, 02:57:22
danoschek 
Emne: in view of some notorious board noise occuring lately I thought it might be a good idea to bubblish ( for your Fun and Profit:) the known Ferengi Rules of Aquisition
Tilpasset af danoschek (26. Oktober 2004, 02:59:29)
'

'
# - Once you have their money, never give it back.
# - You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try.
# - You can always buy back a lost reputation.
# - Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough.
# - If you can't break a contract, bend it.
# - Never let family stand in the way of opportunity.
# - Always keep your ears open.
# - Keep count of your change.
# - Instinct plus opportunity equals profit.
# - A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one.
# - Latinum isn't the only thing that shines.
# - Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
# - Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
# - Anything stolen is pure profit.
# - Acting stupid is often smart.
# - A deal is a deal.
# - A bargain usually isn't.
# - Beware of relatives bearing gifts.
# - Don't lie too soon after a promotion.
# - When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat.
# - Never place friendship before profit.
# - Wise men can hear profit in the wind.
# - Never take the last coin, but be sure to get all the rest.
# - Fear makes a good business partner.
# - Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money.
# - Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.
# - Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects.
# - It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
# - Money talks, but having lots of it gets more attention.
# - Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.
# - The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
# - Good customers are a rare as latinum--treasure them.
# - Friendship is seldom cheap.
# - Free advice is seldom cheap.
# - Never use credit where your words will do.
# - Never buy what can be stolen.
# - The riskier the road, the higher the profit.
# - Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise.
# - Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
# - Never do something you can make someone do for you.
# - Sleep can interfere with opportunity.
# - Buy, sell, or get out of the way.
# - A friend is only a friend until you sell him something. Then he is a customer.
# - Wives serve; brothers inherit.
# - If you can sell it, don't hesitate to steal it.

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