ketchuplover: I will hope the answer is funnier than a fart in a space suit.

mandpoll950: I am missing the punchline to your joke. Perhaps you could explain it?

I don't mind getting old...

... it's the aging I don't like.

Pedro Martínez:

WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)User Error: Replace user.

I went with a different system and keep it right next to the computer. It competes with the major computer and software companies and is very inexpensive. Works in ambient lighting without any external power supply. The only cost being initial purchase, though many places give them away for free.

Pen = WOD (Write Only Device)
and
Paper = NVSM (Non-Volatile Storage Medium)

redfrog:
The original riddle: groan
The explanation : GROAN

Skyking:
Something I've always wondered about is:

Why does a drive up ATM machine have Braille dots on the driver's side?

Thad: I was going to join the Procrastinator's Club, but I never got around to it. Apparently this qualifies me for membership. I might get in yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Cheri: In light of maxim #9 I've reached over to my write-only device to record it onto the non-volatile storage medium that I use that I have to disagree with that one. And they continue to work even if the power is off.

teenangel: I looked it up. He's right, and so are you.

Jim Dandy: :)

http://www.imgag.com/product/full/ap/3067907/graphic1.swf

Having the volume on adds to the fun of interpretation. I did score an eight one time.

Floyd Krieger: Perhaps you'll see the humor of it when you no longer need to use the cane?

Summertop: I hadn't thought of that, but yeah you're right. :)

Walter Montego: I'm calling my local beer distributor right now! Interstingly enough I applied for a job there three weeks ago when my company went out of business. :) I do believe in the product.

Summertop: You got me thinking. If instead you bought keg beer instead of cans you might do better in the recycling market. Going price for a keg of domestic is around $75, plus you have to put a deposit on the kegs of about $20. $1000 will get you 13 kegs and $25 change back. After drinking all the beer you can get $260 for retunring the kegs. I realize for an initial investment of $1235 a return of $260 is only slightly better than your very good advice, but you can further increase the yield by having some friends come over and kick in some money for a few beers. Now you can party with your friends, drink a lot of beer, and maybe even turn a profit! :)

Summertop: Hear! Hear! And it goes quite well with my current job.

Sitting on the porch drinking cold beer with the neighbors.

BIG BAD WOLF: Yep, thems some good ones. :)

Lamby: It almost looks like his head is on fire with a gray flame! :)

Lamby: Thaat is a good one! :) Perhaps you have one of Don King the boxing promoter? Or better yet, him shaking Donald's hand if they ever met?